Working with Girls...

In 2004, the NM Commission on the Status of Women conducted the Dreams and Sorrows Survey.  After reviewing over 1200 submissions, we were excited to see that although 73.9% sought advice and help from their best friends, 73.6% sought that same support from their moms!

 There are numerous studies that support the claim that parents are the greatest influence in their children's lives.  Time after time research regarding teen pregnancy has shown that daughters of teen mothers are much more likely to also be teen moms.  And that is just one example.

How Do You Raise a Leader?

1. 1.Lead by Example
   In the 2007 Believe in NM Girls Town Hall Report, when we asked the girls how to solve substance abuse problems for teenage girls, they all said that substance abuse needed to be solved for entire families.  In fact, many NM girls stated that families should not support alcohol use at all at family events.  The same goes for positive behavior -- if you want your daughter to be a leader, show her what a great leader looks like in YOU!
   

2. 2.Give Them Responsibilities
   When children and youth are trusted with responsibilities, it gives them a sense of purpose and, when praised for doing a good job, a sense of accomplishments.  Strong leaders possess both of these characteristics.
    
   

3. 3.Teach Your Daughter How to Make Choices
   When they are little, it may be as simple as "Do you want orange juice or milk with breakfast today?"  Allow them to make choices and then reap the benefits or suffer the consequences of those choices.  Later in life your daughter will be faced with very difficult choices and with a strong background of making responsible choices, she will make good decisions.
    
   

4. 4.Show Conviction, Passion and Commitment
   Whether it is conviction for your values, passion for your goals or commitment to your family; show your daughter that you believe in yourself.  If she has a role model at home that shows these qualities, she is more likely to emulate them.
    
   

5. 5.Practice What Your Preach
   A bit like #1, practicing what you preach is a difficult task for any parent.  How many of us have stated "do what I say, not as I do."?  A group of female students at Sandia Prep in Albuquerque discussed the subject of body image on our "GIRLS: Challenges/Choices" documentary in 2006.  One of the things they stated was that the large majority of them had grown up hearing their mothers talk about the size of their thighs, the need to lose weight and unhappiness with their overall appearance.  Girls who have parents who not only encourage their daughters to be proud of their appearance AND who also have positive body image, go along way in accepting that they are beautiful just as they are.
    
   

6. 6.Take Charge
   You are the parent.  Show them how you can take charge -- whether by setting clear boundaries with them, solving a family budget crisis, or dealing with an unsatisfactory restaurant experience.  Girls learn their communication skills at home long before they attend their first day of kindergarten.